Episodes
Tuesday Mar 27, 2018
#19: Doing the Work Part 2
Tuesday Mar 27, 2018
Tuesday Mar 27, 2018
Have you ever decided you wanted to accomplish something and then repeatedly find yourself NOT doing the things required to achieve that outcome? If so, welcome to the human race!
This episode is Part 2 of a three part series on Doing the Work.
In Part 1 of Doing the Work, We Discussed:
- Setting realistic and compelling goals
- Identifying the specific actions necessary to achieve that goal
- Creating an empowered mindset in order to consistently do the work
In Part 2, we will talk about moving past your negative self-talk and building belief in yourself.
Some of the stories and self-limiting beliefs we see include:
- “I’m just messed up”
- “I’m broken”
- “I’m the exception to the rule”
- My metabolism is broken
- This runs in my family.
- I always screw things up.
- All the people are around me are high performers and I’m the black sheep or underachiever of the family.
- I don’t have anything special about me.
- Nothing has worked for me.
- What used to work for me doesn’t work any more.
- I’m too emotional for my family or I’m oversensitive.
- I’m just an emotional eater.
- I’m disgusting.
- This is just a habit (therefore I’m powerless over it)
- I’m addicted to sugar.
- This is just how I am.
WHERE DO THESE STORIES AND SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS COME FROM?
- Parents/family: We gather beliefs from our family, from the things that are said and those that are unsaid.
- Social media – provides confirmation bias of what we think we need to do. We think it’s inspiring but is it actually shaming. We have to be vigilant about what we expose ourselves to.
- Advertising/Our culture– sex and youth sell.
It can seem impossible to dislodge these long-held beliefs about ourselves but it IS possible.
Step 1: REFRAME When you hear the negative voices in your head shaming you or saying you will just fail again, PAUSE.
Ask yourself:
- Is that true?
- Is that kind?
- Is that helpful?
- What one small thing can I do right now to keep moving forward and avoid inertia or shame-spiraling?
Choose your words to and about yourself carefully.
The words we use to talk to ourselves matter hugely. They are not just descriptive of our past behavior; they actual send instructions to our brain for future behavior. They can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Remember: Our past choices only define our future if we decide that they do!
Step 2: SLOW DOWN
- Choose 1-2 things that you can commit to being consistent with (walking, meal prep, workouts, going to bed on time, etc.).
- Part of building trust with ourselves is showing we can do what we said we’d do. This action/feedback loop builds momentum very quickly; this is how we stay motivated to continue!
- Focus on building habits, rather than hyper-focusing on the goal itself. Focusing on goals alone implies there is a finish line where you can go back to what you were doing before. Focusing on habits means you will achieve your goal as a side effect of your habits and be able to maintain your results.
- Avoid the black and white Achievement/Failure mindset. Just because you deviate or go slower than you’d like, you’re building grit, self-awareness, and new habits by continuing. Just like anything else in life, achieving goals takes much longer than we think it will.
- The alternative (quitting, reverting to old habits that don’t serve us) undermines our confidence in ourselves and our abilities. Talk a bit about being a good quitter.
- The shortest distance between 2 lines is not always linear. The straight line to the finishing line is a myth.
Tune in next week for Doing the Work: Part Three where we will discuss the influence our friends and family have on our habits, goals, and motivation to do the work we set out to do.
Questions? Feedback? Please connect with us on our Facebook page!
xo,
Jenny and Lisa, co-hosts
The Mind Your Body Podcast
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